Tale of Two Perverts
by LoserSquad
Summary: What would happen if Lady Gaga and Iggy tried dating? Totally OOC and Parody. This is what happens when you give me sugar at midnight... WARNING: No longer a one-shot...Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: No one is quite sure how Iggy's able to see this. Just pretend he has his sight back or something.**

**This is a production of me (Frog) getting sugar high during the middle of the night (I ate a bowl of sugar…), and listening to Love Game and wondering what would happen if Lady Gaga and Iggy tried dating. Total parody. Really short, but...weird. Cowritten by Pyro (Gazillion Pyro Rock)  
**

Disclaimer: I don't own Mars, Lady Gaga, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Ella, Lady Gaga's shoe, or the Pit of Insanity.

* * *

Third Person

So, once upon a time Iggy was walking down the deep place in Mars called the Valles Marroones. Later, when he got home, he heard moving and rustling. Then, out popped-

Lady Gaga.

She was dancing in a weird fashion. Her eyes lit up, her light hair crackling in the sunlight. All of a sudden, she started kissing Iggy. Iggy began singing a song while they were kissing.

Then, all of a sudden, Lady Gaga disappeared into the magical planet of Volvox Polluto. Gazzy popped up and said, "Oh, my sugar!" and walked away with a sugar bowl in hand.

Iggy stared in the direction Gazzy had came from. He murmured something, he ate Lady Gaga's shoe that she left behind, and then went to bed. On Mars, of course.

Later that night, Iggy heard weird sounds. He thought it was just coming from a weird dream he was having, but no. He walked downstairs, to the living room, and saw…

Lady Gaga, making out with something else. Was it herself? A pillow? A marshmallow?

"Lady Gaga! My dear! You're so...gay! Cheating on me! But, unless it was a marshmallow. Then that'd be okay."

Lady Gaga looked up, sorrow in her eyes. "That's okay, dear. I know you're cheating on me with Ella and Nudge." The two girls promptly popped out of nowhere, angry looks flaring in their eyes.

"A, ha ha, I can explain," Iggy said, slowly backing up and running away from the two furiously crying girls. Lady Gaga shrugged, continuing to make out with whatever that thing was.

Nudge suddenly spoke, "But we were in the closet of gayness, Iggy!" Ella roared at him, and duct taped him to a bomb that was headed towards the bottom of the Pit of Insanity. Letting their ex-boyfriend die, the two girls skipped away and back to their house.

No one ever found out what Lady Gaga was making out with.

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi! This is Pyro speaking. I hacked Frog's account (she let me, of course), and put this up for her.**

**So, enjoy! The mysterial magicalness of Chapter 2 of a supposed-oneshot.**

**There might be more chapters.**

**Matter-of-fact, we could probably turn this into a series of oneshots...**

**La Disclamora: Don't own Lady Gaga, the Flock, Lady Gaga's dancers, Miley Cyrus, or the celery obsession thing.**

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a magical creature called the Great Lady Gaga, who happened to love Iggy from Maximum Ride.

Lady Gagay- I mean Gaga- was very thrilled to see the opening night of Maximum Ride, mostly because of the hot flock member Iggy. She had forced her dancers to come with her. Don't get me wrong, all the dancers loved the book series. They only disliked Lady Gaga herself.

Have you ever seen her? Wearing nothing is not a fashion, as Nudge would most likely say. In addition, her hair is just plain out awful.

Lady Gaga was standing in line. It had been at least eighteen minutes since all the celebrities were let in, except her.

"Hello?" Lady Gaga waved her hand in frustration.

"Would you like something?" A strong muscular man spoke.

"Yeah, I'm famous too!" Lady Gaga was about to flip her wig!

"Bull-"

Ella suddenly cut him off. She just happened to need some water.

"HEY, BUT I'M LADY GAGA!" she screamed at the guard.

"Yeah and I'm Miley Cyrus!" the man snorted and laughed. Then, he got the weirdest look on his face. "You…are, I can tell by the outfit! You may pass though Lady Gaga!"

"Finally. Thank you so much-"

Her words were cut off when she saw her one true love.

* * *

Lady Gaga's POV

Iggy. He was actually standing…right there. I could see him…in person! I walked right up to him, staring in his sexy blue eyes. I started making out with him. It was fun! Oh, look it's a penny!

I looked into Iggy eyes. Ah, how hot can a kid with blonde hair and wings be? I looked into his eyes I saw complete and utter fear screaming inside. I was shocked, he had his eyesight back but why was he so…odd looking? Then, out of freaking nowhere popped Gazzy! The sad thing was Iggy broke apart from my lips, and gazed at Gazzy…

Oddly, Gazzy was rambling about farts and bacon. At least it's an interesting mix.

Unexpectedly Ella jumped out, who tackled Iggy- or murdered him, and pulled out a stick of celery and smacked him with it. "Ow!" Iggy shouted in pain.

"Gosh Ella, who knew you could kill a person, or severely beat them up," Max was laughing her butt off in the corner of the movie theater.

"This is FUN!"

I ran over to Iggy and killed him with that penny that I had found earlier. After 30 minutes of beating him, he was done. Ella, Max and I had successfully put Iggy in a celery outfit.

"You asked for it!" Ella said and smacked him once more.

"Okay guys, we're done torturing Iggy!" Max laughed.

Ella and I ran for Iggy. Her lips puckered as well as mine. We both landed on Iggy with a giant _thud!_

However, in the end it turned up as me, Lady Gaga, and Ella kissing.

The End!

**A/N: That Lady Gagay thing at the beginning was actually a typo I'd made while typing up Chapter 1, and Frog lurved it so she had to include it somehow.**

**Hope you're happy, Froggicus!  
**


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